Relationship Clarity Q&A

Step 1 of 5

Relationship Clarity: Questions & Answers

Please complete this form and submit at least 3 business days before your scheduled session. This pre-work should take 3-4 hours to complete, so feel free to save and continue later or block enough time to answer thoroughly.

Name*

First Last

Email*

Part 1: What’s Your Version of a Successful Romantic Relationship?

What is your definition of love?*

How do you define a successful relationship?*

What is your current vision for your romantic relationship?*

Part 2: Identifying Your Genius by Revisiting Your Life Story

Part 1: Childhood

What were your parents’ occupations, and how have they impacted what you do for a living, if at all?*

What were you known for as a kid (ages 0 to 8)? What were your interests or favorite games to play? Do any activities stand out to you as unique?*

Part 2: The College / Early Adulthood Years

Did you go to college? If not, why, and what did you do instead?*

If you went to college, how was your experience with choosing and getting accepted into college?*

What were the challenging and rewarding aspects of this process?

What was your focus of study, and why did you choose this?*

What were your dreams for your career after college? What about those dreams inspired you?*

What feedback, if any, did you get from professors, mentors, and friends who played a role in what you did after college?*

Reflection: In our college years, we often feel a lot of pressure to decide how we want to start our careers, and even how we want the rest of our lives to play out. How did you feel about the fact that you were responsible for knowing where your life would go from this point forward?*

Part 3: Current Job

What sequence of events led you to what you are doing now?*

What do you enjoy most about this job? What do you enjoy least?*

Think of the most recent intellectual zone moment that you’ve experienced at work or elsewhere.*

Meaning the thinking or problem-solving that you were doing at that moment that was really energizing. Describe the thinking or problem solving that you were doing in detail here.

Reflection: What are the consistent themes of thinking or problem solving that are related to the tasks you most enjoy?*

Were there any socially motivating reasons why you worked at any of your past jobs?*

Was any sort of validation attached to your doing well? Did the company or group value a certain skill that you wanted to possess because people who demonstrated that skill earned the highest salaries or were valued the most?

Part 4: Final Analysis

What are the consistent themes from each section that reveal your genius (the kind of thinking that you most enjoy doing and that leads to your most effective work)?*

Based on your reflections in parts 1-3, what is the way of thinking that you most often used?*

Untitled

What tasks were you responsible for? What did you enjoy? Which did you dislike?*

What thoughts or understanding did you have about your innate strengths and weaknesses at work at this point?*

Every Job Since (list both: what you enjoyed and what you did not enjoy about each)*

Current Job

What sequence of events led you to what you are doing now?*

What do you enjoy most about this job? What do you enjoy least?*

Reflection: What are the consistent themes with your past jobs and your current job that surround the tasks you most enjoy?*

What are the consistent ways of thinking or problem solving that are related to the tasks you most enjoy? Answer the same questions for aspects of your job you do not enjoy.

Were there any socially motivated reasons why you worked at any of these jobs?*

Part 4: Final Analysis

What are the consistent themes from each section that reveal your genius (the kind of thinking that you most enjoy doing and that leads to your most effective work)?*

Based on your reflections in parts 1-3, what is the way of thinking that you most often used?*

Write a three-word description of that skill here:*

Use a thesaurus and find a few other ways to describe it. This language will become the basis for naming your genius. If you’re struggling to find the right language to label your Genius take the Zone of Genius Quiz. This quiz will take about 15-20 minutes. Before taking it, think of some moments you’ve been in the Zone recently. The quiz will help you more easily find the right language for both your Genius and Purpose. You can then use your Purpose language from the quiz to help you with the section below where you’ll be identifying your Purpose.

Name your genius/purpose

How do you feel about the language you used above to describe your genius?*

Do you see your genius as valuable? Could you explain its value and use to others?

Explain the value of your genius here*

Part 5: Identify Your Core Emotional Challenge and revisiting your relationship history

Part 1: Childhood Ages 5 to 18

What was the best part of your childhood from ages 5 to 18? What was the most challenging part? Why?*

What was the best part of your high school days? What was the most challenging part? Why?*

Were you popular? Did you have good friendships? How did these friendships affect your confidence or sense of self-worth?*

How would you describe your home life and your parents’ relationship? Was your home life stable?*

What did you learn about love from your primary care-giver (usually your mother but could be a father)?*

Meaning, were your emotional needs met with being nurtured? Did you have a deep connection with both your parents? If not, how would you describe your connection?

How did your parents’ relationship evolve over time?*

What were the themes you noticed between them or in their 2nd or 3rd relationships?*

How would you describe these relationships with key adjectives?*

Reflection: Analyze your answers as if you were reading someone else’s biography.*

Write down the most obvious emotional challenges from this time period:

Part 2: College

Were there any life-defining relationships during this time?*

If so, what did you learn from these relationships that you took on to the next ones?

What were some of the emotional challenges you experienced during the college years?*

Part 3: Adult Life and Relationship History

Go through each significant relationship (I define significant relationships as including marriage, living together or lasting for more than one year, or sharing a child.) If you experienced a relationship that shifted you but is not considered significant by my definition, feel free to include it.

Relationship 1

What worked well in this relationship?*

What were the issues?*

What is the consistent feeling that you experienced in this relationship?*

If it ended, what did you learn and take-away from it and apply to the next one?

Relationship 2

What worked well in this relationship?*

What were the issues?*

What is the consistent feeling that you experienced in this relationship?*

If it ended, what did you learn and take-away from it and apply to the next one?

Relationship 3

What worked well in this relationship?

What were the issues?

What is the consistent feeling that you experienced in this relationship?

If it ended, what did you learn and take-away from it and apply to the next one?

Relationship 4

What worked well in this relationship?

What were the issues?

What is the consistent feeling that you experienced in this relationship?

If it ended, what did you learn and take-away from it and apply to the next one?

Analysis of Relationship History

What patterns and themes jump out at you once you review your response from above?*

Reflection: Looking back at all the questions from the above exercise, identify the core emotional challenge throughout your life and in your relationships that seem to have been the most significant to you.*

Look for the one challenge that was consistently present throughout.

Once you’ve figured out your core emotional challenge, or even if you still haven’t, review when you are most fulfilled at work or at home.*

List the moments in the past month when you have felt fulfilled by the impact you were having. Write down the specific impact you were having on other people that was so meaningful to you.

Comments

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.